Crescent Whirlwind

Today my own feelings playing Hide-And-Seek with me What I want is so different from what I wanted What I feel is so different from what I felt What I see is just not matching with what I want to see The urge is coming right from inside My own feelings keeping me aside I want something, which will take me for while I need the assurance to walk that extra mile The emotional turmoil is driving me crazy to the walls The hidden spaces are now moving away from the thoughts Somewhere something becomes crystal clear,I feel happy Suddenly something disappears,I feel scary I want to let go some things and wait for their arrival.... May be I never expected those things to stay forever This confessional dilemma is adding to my restlessness What I'm currently looking for is just peace for decades I don't want to go beyond expression of reality I'm just not bothered about the things and their feasibility My mirror image today is now a perfect stranger My gestures have also become a part...

I ceased feeling anything when I accepted the absence of you in my life ! Things are difficult to accept than they actually are ! And once I accept then what remains in my life? The philosophy beyond acceptance was never meant for me... Then by declining the reality what did I get? If the happiness of even from sunrise to sunset was never there in my life, then why at all I am born? If compramise is the only fact left then why not an animal's life? If the emotions only waging a war against emotions then what's the reason I am alive?

Why do some people walk in our life And walk out too as the days pass by? And then why dont they take away those memories too? Why dwell in our mind those memories? why those memories have to itch so hard,come what may... With the blowing breeze new people,new memories and again new pain If those people are never going to stay back in the life why at all do they walk in?? To destroy the little world?

I wish you could be the one I always craved for, I wish you could be that shine I alwyas asked for, I wish you could be the face I always waited for, I wish you could be the wish I always wished for, I wish you could be the world I want to live in, I wish you could be the colour I want my life in, I wish you could be that path I left, I wish you could be that feel I felt, I wish you could be the sky I always wanted, I wish you could be the dream I got enchanted... It can go on like anything so am leaving it incomplete...cause its still incomplete [;)]

Oneday some day I too will walk away With nothing in my hand and life just a decay, Leaving behind another mistery unvealed letting go all my dreams unfulfilled, life merely and measurably a paradox And mind terribly tired to find the way in the middle of the rocks Putting up just another mask over the living is not helping me anymore Sooner or later I want to get out of the crossroad Sometimes the alter me wants to stuggle for the living Somehow it wants to find the reason for being The other me inside does not let her do so The dripping life of mine can't get good though A totally confused soul is seeking for a breath A virtual regret is asking for help Suddenly I feel I have found something And even before accepting it,it becomes nothing I'm fade up of myself I'm fade up me Just whiling away the time and waiting to be "me"

Something is striking on my mind Something is surely going to bang, Something is changing inside out Something really wants to come out, May be I've missed something very strong Its predominant approach is stretching for a long, May be I've gone farther,leaving something back Its unfelt existence is patting on the back, Somewhere something has actually gone wrong the leaves are blowing without the wind on, The circumstance signaling the life in blue I can't find any reason which could be true Things are slipping out of my hand Somewhere something for sure is going wrong... It's really very hard to see the things going far, as if they were never mine and just initiated the laugh, sadly I want to hold everything tight, merely I want everything, without any fight...

Kyon apneaap ka khauf lekar jite hai hum jindagi ? Kyon aanjaan sadkonpe hum ban jate hai ajnabi? kyon yaadonke saye mein hum kuchh keh dete hai unkahi kyon chahte hai chhupane aansu raaat ke parde mein har kahi? kyon kafila saath hote bhi mehsoos karte hai tanhai? yonk hamesha kaantonka hi rasta chunati hai majhabi? kyon rishtonka silsila tod deti hai bekhudi? kyon jeeneki chah badha deti hai khudkhushi?